Man Has Minor Surgery, Can’t Stop Telling Everyone How Painful It Was

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Newry man James Fatspatrick had surgery yesterday and is determined to let everyone know how painful it was, despite it being a relatively minor procedure.

Newry Spud spoke to James who is recovering at home:

“Minor? There’s nothing minor about being sliced open with a fancy knife and then having a doctor pull part of you insides out of your body. Look up the word ‘minor’ in the dictionary and that definition is not there.”

James went on to say:

“It felt okay at first because the anesthetic was at work but when the pain kicked in, dear God it was a holy terra. The worst thing is that no-one seems to be giving me any sympathy for it. A girl stubs her toe, posts about it on Facebook and the whole world gets behind her. Guy gets sliced open and everyone just tells him to ‘man up.’”

James has taken the rest of the week off to recover and send text messages and emails to various friends and work colleagues about how much pain he is in.