Newry Man Clears Web History, Still Feels Self Shame

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After watching an array of amateur pornographic films during a 45 minute self-pleasuring session local man Brendan Morgan says he is now experiencing “something that feels a lot like guilt”.

Brendan told Newry Spud:

“I mean it’s not like I’ve hurt anyone… What I’m feeling is more of a disappointment. A disappointment in myself.  I really didn’t need to have eight window tabs open like.

“I mean it’s an amazing world we live in…I could have only dreamed of this kind of set up when I was a teenager. But things can get pretty dark when you go wank-surfing like that.”




As a committed boyfriend of two and a half years, Brendan says this afternoon’s incident is not easy to forget. Not as easy as it is to erase from his girlfriend’s laptop’s search history.

Brendan explained:

“I’m a little rattled by it all to be honest. My missus would never be able to understand the little adventures I go on. MILFS, Granny’s, Mothers-in-law, Big Black Mommas. I’ve essentially just been around the world in less than an hour pulling the plum off myself LOL.”
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