Sat. Jan 23rd, 2021

screaming librarian

The staff of Newry Library released a statement today detailing their plans for the remainder of the year: To be even more unapproachable.

Newry Spud spoke to a library employee this morning:

“So far it’s been going great this year for us. We’ve implemented eye-rolling, which was a big success, and we really buckled down on our ‘fuck you’ faces. Still, there’s always room for improvement.”

Library users have also paid respect to the staff for their arrogant and unapproachable demeanours. One told Newry Spud:

“I love coming in every day to be looked upon with absolute disdain when I annoy them to check in or check out a book. They really have the ‘fuck you, dick head’ look down to an art; they truly are a credit to public servants.”

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