Sun. Jan 24th, 2021

A Newry man has spent 2 hours and 46 minutes smelling deodorants in Around-A-Pound on Hill Street because she couldn’t decide on AXE or Insignia we can reveal.

Onlookers said the 37 year-old idiot faced an almost impossible decision on which spray to buy and said he looked ‘agonised’ but finally went for the AXE which smells like fucking dung.

We spoke with the man from his living room that smells like a whore’s handbag and he told Newry Spud:

“They have such a varied range of shit smelling deodorants baah; really they should only have one or maybe two at the most, it makes it an almost impossible decision to go and shop for a bottle of BO spray for fuck sake. Between sporty smell, fresh berries, lemon and forest pine I was lost in such a massive decision. I just want to take away the smell of my mince and onion smelling armpits baah.”

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