Sat. Dec 5th, 2020

A Newry man is in the bad books with ‘her indoors’ after he was caught having a sneaky peek at their neighbour’s diddies we can reveal.

The man who cannot be named for legal reasons told onlookers that he was ‘just having a juke’ and that he wasn’t to know that like most women in Newry his wife has super fucking powers that see and know everything he tries to do.

The man from Derrybeg told Newry Spud:

“What man hasn’t had a sly juke at their fit neighbour’s wobblers? I’m the silly bollox that gets caught. The wife now has me doing dishes, hanging doors and sitting on the naughty step for 30 minute intervals. Wile baah.”

Meanwhile the wife told us:

“He’s a sly old fucker. I wouldn’t mind but I’ve got two big shoulder slingers on me. What to fuck?”

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