Sun. Jan 24th, 2021


The Newry gay community have come out fighting after the senseless bigoted attack on them we can reveal. According to all the gay people of Newry they are now having even hotter sex since the cowardly attack.

A Newry Rainbow Community spokesman Timothy TightHole told us:

“Let us assure the small minded bigots who think its ok to marginalise and beat up people who are gay that we are having even hotter love sessions since the attack. In fact I can hardly walk this morning (LOL), me and my boy were at it all night and I’m drained of literally all bodily fluids.”

Another gay Newry resident Debs DoubleHole told us:

“Ever since the bigots attacked us in Newry me and my woman have been having a ball of a time. We’ve been left with no choice but to play with each other’s vaginas in a way that would make a banjo player jealous. We’re cumin like a pair of blissful nut jobs. It’s claaaaahhh baaaahhh.”

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