Thu. Nov 26th, 2020

Some absolute fuck-nugget from Newry caused an emergency today after he was using his ‘super vape cig’ that bellows clouds of smoke much greater than any cigarette ever could we can reveal.

Liam Smyth was using his vape when a concerned shopper called the fire brigade thinking there was a massive fire on Monaghan Street due to the vast amount of smoke produced by this machine.

Mr Smyth told Newry Spud:

“I didn’t mean to cause such alarm and I’m sorry to the public. But this vape yoke is some machine baah. I never even smoked real fegs before, I just love showering every other pedestrian with vanilla smelling smog because I’m an absolute cunt.”

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