In a world first, a Newry dental technician and keen fisherman Eric Johnston has begun fitting his catch with humanoid teeth we can sensationally reveal.
Friends have described Mr Johnston as ‘quirky’ and ‘out-there’ others just call him a weird fuck head.
Newry Spud spoke to the Eric’s nephew local lover boy and part-time male model/striptease Colly Johnston who told us:
“He’s always been a bit weird but when I saw the catches being fucked back in the water with better teeth than me I fucking knew then that he lost the plot. Don’t get me wrong, he’s obviously quite talented and committed but it’s just too weird for me.”
Newry Spud spoke to the talented fisherman and demented dental technician from his private ward in the local mental hospital and he told us:
“I don’t see the big deal, I mean, the poor fish have terrible cavities and its my duty to make that better. I now estimate I’ve caught and repaired the dentures of at least 30 fish around the country. I don’t consider myself as a hero or anything; I’m just a humanitarian and lover of fish. By the way, my nephew Colly is a real ball bag, don’t listen to anything he says, if his mouth is open then he’s lying.”