Tue. Dec 1st, 2020


BBC Northern Ireland has announced that they are to launch a Crimewatch Newry programme that will be broadcast once a month to the local residents.

The amount of known criminals and drug dealers within the city has prompted calls for the new TV programme that will deal exclusively for the greater Newry area.

A PSNI spokesman told Newry Spud:

“It’s a sad day for us all when a small city like Newry needs its own Crimewatch programme but such is the levels of thuggery and poverty within the inner-city slums that ourselves along with the BBC felt we needed to address the problem.”

We spoke with a local house breaker and small time drug pusher who told us:

“This is a disgrace. It is infringing on our human rights and will make it harder for me to earn a living. Myself along with a few of the other local scumbags are meeting tonight to discuss taking our case to the International Criminal Court in the Hague to see if it is infringing on our basic human right to privacy.”


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