Newry Couple Staying Together For The Dog


After three years of sitting on opposite ends of the couch staring at their individual laptops to avoid conversation, local couple Grainne Quinn and Peader Lynch announced Wednesday that they were only staying together for their dog.

“Unhappy couples without dogs have it so easy,” said Grainne, 27, while walking Sparky, the couple’s three-year-old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, around the park.

“They just wait until their lease is up and move in with a friend they haven’t really talked to in two years.”

Grainne continued: “Peader and I decided to get a dog together very early in our relationship and we just want that dog to grow up in the best environment possible.”

Friends and family of the couple claim they have been unhappy for years and believe perhaps the dog would be happier if it were to just live with Peader because it was his idea to get the dog anyway.

“Grainne and I have our differences,” lamented Peader, 28, while taking a frozen pizza out of the oven at 1 a.m. “But we’re going to see this through.”

At press time, sources confirmed that the couple had re-signed their lease but were now sleeping in separate beds.