The well-respected and generally unsuspicious Muhammad family living in Newry, was honoured today in a civic ceremony held by the Council, where they were recognised for not being terrorists, contributing to terrorist organizations, or wanting to kill the locals.

The Muhammad’s accepted the award at the Town Hall during a reception held by local political representatives. The event concluded without even one suicide bombing.

The Chairperson of Newry, Mourne & Down District Council Gillian Fitzpatrick told the packed hall:

“This award to the Muhammad’s is for dedication to family, service to the community, and not making the majority of our residents nervous when they see you walk into a crowded shop, bus or any other densely populated area we thank you and present to you the Newry Award Of Excellence.”

Newry Spud spoke to Mr Muhammad who said:

“Thank you to the people of Newry. We know now that this is the place where we will raise our children as good citizens, with strict instructions not to travel to Pakistan to train with ISIS. Thanks, Newry.”