The Newry PSNI has announced that they will be selling cigarettes for £4 a packet after a seizure of 8 million cigarettes was seized in Newry yesterday.

The local cops have said that they will be using the money raised by the sale of the cigarettes to pay for their Christmas party this year and that each police constable will receive a £10,000 handshake. On top of that we will pay the yearly rent for Saoradh An Iúir’s new office.

PSNI spokesman John Player told us:

“This is a huge windfall for us her in Newry. While our officers will enjoy the vast majority of the money from the sale of the illicit fegs we are also extending a hand of solidarity to Saoradh and will help them by funding their office for a year.

We will also be holding a massive rave in the Meadow for all who wish to come. There will be a free packet of fegs for anyone wishing to come.”