There has been a significant development in the peace process today after the Newry Continuity IRA decommissioned their weapons we can reveal.
The weapons cache is of a surprisingly low calibre of weapons that are seemingly made out of wood from local trees.
A local CIRA insider told Newry Spud:
“We’ve taken the brave and courageous step to cease operations from midnight on Friday and we’ve handed over a significant amount of wooden pistols, peg guns and water balloons.”
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