Thu. Jan 28th, 2021


Newry Cathedral has been sensationally levelled and work will begin tomorrow to replace it with a ‘Super Mosque’ sources have told us.

The famous old building that has acted as a place of worship for many years will now be knocked down for what the local council are calling a ‘new era’.

A local priest Fr. Peadar O’Phile told us:

“Are numbers have been falling so badly that we had no choice but to sell to a local Islamic community who offered us so much money that it couldn’t be turned down.

It reflects Newry’s ever changing demographics and changing local religious community. We hope Allah enjoys his new residence in the centre of Newry as much as Jesus enjoyed it.”

A Newry Council representative has given the whole process his blessing and told Newry Spud:

“Ah well, these things happen. Every cloud has a silver lining, all Councillors and officials are getting the century’s old granite from the Cathedral to build walls around their houses and barbecues in their back gardens.”

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