Newry Canal Bottled Water To Be Launched Today In Local Shops

An enterprising Newry entrepreneur has developed the City’s first ever locally sourced bottled water.

‘Canal Spring’ is a new product taken from the Newry Canal that runs through the heart of the city. It hits the local shops on Monday with sales expected to go through the roof.

Simon Gregory the man who is starting the venture told Newry Spud:

“We all go past the Canal daily, most times we smell it before we see it but I believe the people of Newry is now so used to the putrid stench of the Canal that they will have absolutely no problem drinking the water out of it.”

We asked Mr Gregory what type of purification process the water will go through:

“None, absolutely none. I’m going down every night with an empty milk tank and pumping water directly from the Canal and then throwing it into empty plastic bottles. I can’t believe nobody hasn’t actually thought of this before.”