Newry athlete Johnny ‘Panzer’ Boyle who is to take part in the New York triathlon has been asking locals at Camough Lake what is the best way to repel sharks we can reveal.
Panzer is using Camlough Lake to acclimatise to the choppy waters around Alcatraz that is full of sharks on the Hudson River.
One Camlough athlete who spoke to Panzer last night told us:
“How to fuck would I know how to repel sharks while swimming? Don’t get me wrong, Newry is full of sharks but two legged ones.”
Meanwhile Panzer told Newry Spud:
“I didn’t realise when I signed up for this triathlon that the Hudson River was rife with man eating sharks. If anyone reading this knows how to best repel them please PM me.”