Sat. Nov 28th, 2020


Being over 21 years of age and wearing ripped jeans will turn you into a self-satisfied smug cock-womble it has been confirmed.

The recent craze of wearing jeans ripped to absolute shite is something that originated in the 1980’s but has since seen a resurgence in popularity.

Whilst it may be acceptable for minors to engage in such foolishness it has been noted that any adult in Newry seen in such silly dress should be immediately shunned and laughed at.

We spoke with a leading fashion expert in Newry Gary Boyd who told us:

“This is a great new trend, its unbelievable the absolute shit we sell to the mugs in Newry. It looks a bit suspect however to wear ripped jeans if you’re a reasonable adult. But this is Newry and people here are a bit whacky and unpredictable.”

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