Wed. Jan 27th, 2021


A newly employed man at Teleperformance has said he lost a little bit of his internal soul after he had to ‘tell a wee bit about himself’ during an induction ice-breaker we can report.

The man said he would have rather done a massive shit on his hands and clap for an hour than to talk about himself in front of complete and utter strangers.

The 24 year-old man told Newry Spud:

“Oh fuck, I knew this shit was going to happen. I had to get up in a room full of strangers all looking back at me petrified because their turn is next.

I didn’t tell the truth like, I never mentioned my excessive cocaine habit or borderline alcoholism, I want to keep this job at least until Christmas.”

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