New Prison For Newry Has Criminals In Fear Of Moving To Newry


A large community of criminals from Northern Ireland have expressed their concerns at being stuck in a confined space with people from the Newry area, it’s been revealed.

Classed as a ‘super prison’, the completion is less than a year away, leaving criminals across the country facing the reality of being locked up with Newry criminals.

Speaking on behalf of a feared Belfast street gang, prison regular Liam Magill, said: “If I continue on this mindless criminal path, I face the very real possibility of being moved to Newry. I’ve been to Newry on a night out, and I’m not sure I can live in close quarters with them. I’m thinking of cleaning up my act”.

Prison Officer Simon Briggs, who will oversee the transition of inmates from various Northern Ireland prisons later this year, said: “Telling criminals they will be forced to live in Newry if they commit a crime again is a wonderful deterrent. I’ve never seen the courts so quiet.

“We’re thinking of scrapping the prison entirely and just threatening criminals with a council house and five kids in Parkhead or Derrybeg”.