Fast food Pizza outlet La Dolce Vita has launched a new range of pizzas that include a surgical syringe to help customer’s fast-track their premature death.
“We’re all about speed and convenience,” a spokesperson for the company said today. “There’s nothing worse than ordering a pizza and then waiting for what seems like days for it to arrive in your arteries”.
The spokesperson said stuffing saturated fats into your mouth already seemed out-dated.
“Why mess around with eating? This will get the fat into your system in a heartbeat. If you’ve still got one, of course”.
The offer is for a limited time only.