Hangover Clinic To Open In Newry

A sensational new business is coming to Newry we can reveal.

As most of us know the agony of hangovers from hell, one business has come up with the ideal solution.

Hangover Express is opening on Monaghan Street this week. The company specialise in curing hangovers by extraordinary methods.

A Hangover Express spokeswoman told Newry Spud:

“When a patient comes in we strip them down, put them in a reclining chair and shower them with cold water to get the blood flowing.

Then we take them to a bedroom where Friar Tuck’s can be administered intravenously while the patient lies in bed watching Jeremy Kyle. Don’t worry if you are afraid of needles we can place a feeding tube down the patients throat instead.”