The Loch Ness Monster has been spotted holidaying in the Camlough Lake, local papers have reported.

Eagle-eyed photographers snapped photos of ‘Nessie’ with his family taking an early-year break from the wintry showers over Scotland.

“You wouldn’t think he was famous just to look at him” explained Newry Times photographer Ian McGinn, “He just looked like any other prehistoric, mythical sea-dwelling dinosaur. Just keeping to himself and having a nice time.”

Pub owner Mark Trainor explained how he didn’t even recognise Nessie,

“He came in and ordered a pint of Guinness. I didn’t know who he was until the missus told me, like. He just seemed completely normal. I mean he did savagely eat a couple of my regulars, which I thought was a little odd. But they were cunts, so ya know. Swings and roundabouts.”

Local Grainne Ni Hallion was happy about her celeb-sighting,

“It’s really class to see such a high profile celeb vacationing in Camlough instead of the Bahamas or something.”