Sun. Jan 17th, 2021

A probe currently hurtling through space at 18,000mph towards Saturn’s moon ‘Titan’ has been redirected to Mayobridge in a bid to finally answer questions surrounding the existence of intelligent life.

Leading NASA scientist John Moon told Newry Spud:

“The probe’s exterior shell is composed of graphene and fortified aluminium, which means it can survive cosmic collisions at speeds of up 30,000mph, however it hasn’t yet faced a blustery and somewhat hostile Mayobridge.

“The last time we sent a probe to the Parkhead Estate someone smothered it in garlic sauce and tried to eat it, so we’re approaching with caution”.

Space enthusiast and TV personality Dara O’Brien, who has described the mission as ‘a waste of time’, said:

“This is quite frankly an insult to science and not to mention the people of Newry. Of course there’s no intelligent life in Mayoridge, everyone knows that”


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