80% of Newry teenagers think that ‘safe sex involves having a handrail around the bed’.

That’s just one of the shocking statistics thrown up in a recent survey into the attitudes to sex from Newry teenagers.

The survey also found that:

  • 47% thought that rimming involved running a wet finger along the top of a milk bottle until it hummed a melodic tune
  •  52% thought that bumming involved rubbing bare buttocks together

The shocking results of the report have taken many by surprise. Bernard Johnson, President of The Society for Rude Things in Newry told Newry Spud:

“The figures are truly shocking. To think that 80% of Newry teenagers consider safe sex to have a handrail around the bed, and then to find out that an extra 7% think that having one foot on the floor helps make it safer, makes us realise that these kids are all as thick as shit. We really need to educate them.”


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