Thu. Feb 25th, 2021
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Local eatery McCooey’s have upset the local Slimming World group by offering ‘a heart attack in a box’ or as McCooey’s call it ‘The McCooey’s Breakfast Box.’

Priced at £14.95 and with a free mug of tay it is taking Newry by storm and has added to the long waiting lines at the local doctors due to clogged up arteries and stroke victims.

Local Slimming World organiser Claire Fatspatrick told Newry Spud:

“Well, it’s simply outrageous that this can be allowed in this day and age.  Why don’t McCooey’s just shove two bars of lard down your throat when you walk in and order one of these yokes?”

But we spoke to McCooey’s owner and wanna be internet jester Lianne McCooey  who told Newry Spud:

“Look, 80% of the folks that walk around Newry are big units, they are fat, simple as that, I am just offering them a service that they want, need and to be frank, they deserve. I fully expect to be given an award of some sort by the Council and the British Heart Foundation.”

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