Mayobridge Couple Breaks New Incest World Record

A Mayobridge couple Paddy and Claire Fatspatrick have set a new world incest record with the birth of their first child, Liam we can reveal.

In addition to being Claire’s common-law husband, Paddy is also Claire’s father and cousin. Claire is Paddy’s common-law wife, daughter and cousin. Liam is Paddy’s son, grandson and second-cousin, and also Claire’s son, half-brother and nephew.

A spokeswoman for the DHSS told us:

“Normally a family like this needs at least five social workers in constant attendance. We would also usually budget for three home-helps, a nurse, two care-assistants and four cleaners operating on 12-hour shifts.”

However, in this case we can probably prevent them killing the child for several years with just two social workers and a PSNI Mobile Support Unit.”