Wed. Jan 20th, 2021

There has been a massive spike in attendance at all Masses at St Peter & St Paul church after a new Polish nun joined the parish we can reveal.

Sister Mary Podolski a former Playboy model and adult movie star has joined the Bessbrook Convent and has been sent to the village to spread the word of Our Lord.

Sister Mary doesn’t have a look of a ‘normal’ nun about her as she explained to Newry Spud:

“I still like to feel sexy and attractive even though I have given myself to the Lord. I find my sexy outfit is a move forward in the women’s liberation struggle and also if it attracts more men to Mass, then it’s a win, win situation.”

One man who attended mass this morning told Newry Spud:

“Jaysys, I’ll be back if thon yoke is going to be sitting in there every day bah. I better head here; the wife will have the fry on.”

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