Thu. Nov 26th, 2020

A Newry man has shat himself rather than going to the toilet without his mobile phone we can reveal.

The man Lee Kelly who asked not to be named lost his phone somewhere in the house last night at around 6:40pm and fell into a panic when he realised he needed to do a poop.

Lee told Newry Spud:

“I haven’t had a crap without my mobile phone on the toilet since around 2001. Anyone who goes into the bog without a phone or some mobile device is clearly a fucking weirdo. So, I did what any self-respecting man would do, I shat myself while looking for my Samsung Galaxy.”

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