Tue. Jan 19th, 2021


An awkward and sexually charged encounter happened today on the Crossmaglen to Newry bus.

Peadar O’Hallion was on his way to Newry college where he is still trying to pass his ‘Sports & Hospitality’ course this past 5 years when he made eye contact with fellow passenger Liam MeDasInTheRa while eating a banana.

Peadar told Newry Spud:

“I had just peeled the banana and was putting it into me mouth when I locked eyes with big Liam. It looked like I was literally blowing the banana for Liam but I assure you that was not the case. I’m ashamed and after the story leaked out my family have disowned me and moved me into the hayshed.”

Liam told Newry Spud:

“I was traumatized to be honest. It looked like he was showing me how to suck on a banana; I’m not into weird shit like that fein.”

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