Wed. Jan 20th, 2021



Madden’s Pub on Mill Street has opened up a toddler group we can reveal. From 12-6pm you can leave your child in the pub to play for a small fee.

We spoke with one woman who leaves her two year-old in the pub and she told us:

“It’s a fantastic service. The toddlers get on so well with the local drinkers. They share a lot of the same habits such as pissing and shitting themselves, sleeping for short periods then going absolutely mental. Plus like my wee son Ciaran most of his new friends (the drinkers) like him cannot walk straight or combine syllables together to make a normal sentence.”

A Madden’s Pub spokeswoman told us:

“Times are tough in this economic environment so we had to diversify and we thought that the closest thing to having the idiots we have in here is to have toddlers walking around going nuts. So far it’s been a massive success.”

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