Sun. Dec 6th, 2020

UK & Irish Border agencies have formally requested the deportation of three Louth born cows that are currently residing on a Cullyhanna farm.

The three cows that have strayed in to the Cullyhanna area from Louth, are ‘taking the jobs of other cows on the Armagh side’ according to BREXIT supporters.

A Customs & Excise spokesman told us:

“Our borders are creaking. Our farms are creaking. We can’t let these filthy Free State cows come over here taking all the jobs away from our lovely Ulster cows. They are driving wages down and taking up all the places in our schools. We have to put a stop to it. British cows for British farms.”

But critics have been quick to point out that he was talking a load of old bollocks.

Former Sinn Fein Councillor and now part-time security detail advisor (in Buttercrane) Colman Burns told Newry Spud:

“All the cows on this farm should be given equal status. This is an Ireland of equals after all.”

The three cows have lived on the farm since 2017. They eat hay, shit a lot and Moo.

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