Locals Can’t Wait To Start Overspending For Pints Again On Friday

With the countdown now officially started the drinking population of Newry cannot fucking wait to mediocre service and spending 3 times more than a carry out in the gaff we can reveal.

While lockdown was on it was clear that we realised just how much money we spent in these fucking hovels.Locals Can’t Wait

One local borderline alcoholic told us:

“Since this lockdown I actually have a few quid in my bank account which is a very weird and unsettling feeling. So I can’t fucking wait until the bars open and I get my pint threw at me by some bitch who is texting while serving me but the thing I miss most is paying the guts of £4 for a pint when I can buy a can for £1.20 it’s class giving these millionaires my dole money again.”