Local W*nker Says “Every Sunday A Palm Sunday For Me”

A local wanker has expressed surprise that today is ‘Palm Sunday’ by declaring that every Sunday is a Palm Sunday for him.

The chronic masturbater from Newry who fiddles with himself day and daily is still happy to celebrate Palm Sunday with everyone.

The wanker told us:

“I really didn’t know that one Sunday a year was put aside to celebrate wanking. This is revelatory to me and I intend to celebrate it probably about 5 times today to be honest. Even though the other 6 days a week are palm days for me it is a privilege to join in with the rest of the wankers of Newry today.”