Sat. Jan 23rd, 2021


A Newry woman has taken three hours to park her car to save her walking the extra 10 feet she would have had to have walked if she’d parked a little further away from the entrance to Dunnes.

The lazy fucker performed a 694-point turn to get her Land Rover into a tiny space closer to the entrance rather than a very large space 10 feet further along.

Trolley collector Harry Flood told Newry Spud:

“I started my shift at 11am and by 2pm; the lazy fucker was still trying to get her posh Land Rover in. The silly thing was that there were shit loads of empty spaces not far away but that would have meant that she would have had to have walked an extra 10 feet or so.”

The woman emerged from the shop ten minutes after entering it.

“She only came out with a cucumber and a Fifty Shades of Grey DVD,” said Harry.

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