Thu. Dec 3rd, 2020

The simpletons of Mullaghbawn are in high spirits today with news that toothpaste is to be delivered to the village tomorrow for the first time we can reveal.

The Mullaghbawn Today’s Local shop has confirmed to Newry Spud that they have accepted an initial order of 6 tubes of toothpaste to see if anyone in the village will actually buy the new item.

A spokesman for the shop told us:

“We are only placing a small order as we haven’t really had much interest before in personal grooming and hygiene products so we will see how things go with this new ‘teeth soap’ thing.”

Sinn Féin’s Terry Hearty has welcomed the news of the toothpaste arrival saying:

“While I’m not totally au fait with toothpaste or all those other fancy things Newry people use, anything that is new and innovative coming into the south Armagh rural area we welcome with open arms.”

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