Wed. Dec 2nd, 2020

South Down MLA Jim Wells is to be put on an island ‘far far away’ with the last remaining Dinosaurs the DUP has confirmed.

Wells who has been consistently irratic and who holds some questionable views for a human living in 2018 will be shipped off today.

A DUP spokesman told Newry Spud:

“Jim’s views on most things are extreme, that’s why he’s in our party. However, he’s even too fucking nuts for us.

His appearance on The Nolan radio show this morning was the last straw. He has to go to a secret island that we created with a few Dinosaurs.”

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