Implacable Newry Man Of Mystery Sets Facebook Profile To “Friends Only”


Inscrutable enigma Gerard Gaffney from Newry has today chosen to set his Facebook profile to “friends only” mode.

The implacable and shadowy man of mystery began the media blackout at 11 am today, by declining to share his several thousand online photos with anyone beyond his inner circle of 621 friends, family members, co-workers, acquaintances and ex-partners.

“Who is this guy!?”  PSNI Chief Kenny Smyth commented. “If I google his name, all that comes up is his profile picture and a list of stuff he likes – get me the First Minister, SAS & Navy Seals right now!”

“We’re dealing with someone outside of the system here,” Smyth added. “A real maverick.”

Gaffney has previously foiled Facebook’s plans to intrude into his private life by posting declarations of what the company can, and cannot, do with all the material he has uploaded to their private servers.

“They never saw that one coming,” he commented. “I bet Mark Zuckerberg read that post and was like ‘oh shit, this guy knows what he’s doing.’”