Mon. Jan 25th, 2021


A sheep has admitted that he intentionally blocks the road when you’re trying to pass because he knows it fucks you off and you haven’t got the balls to run him over.

Peader, a south Armagh sheep who grazes on an embankment between Dorsey and Cullyhanna, said he finds a high level of pleasure in watching you desperately beep your horn and rev your engine to try and scare him off.

Fresh from a ten minute standoff with a Renault Laguna this morning, Peader told Newry Spud:

“I get all this abuse hurled at me through the window, like: “Get out the way Peader you fucking Wanker”, or, “This has to be the dumbest sheep alive, I don’t care if he is really handsome”You know, the usual.

Do you think I’m standing in the middle of the road because I’m a sheep and therefore have no real concept of danger? I know exactly the kind of hassle I’m causing, and I’m fine with it. And don’t think revving your engine and edging forward slightly will scare me off; we both know you’re too weak willed to go through with it”.

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