Thu. Feb 25th, 2021
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Hilltown disco are to reopen their doors every this Friday to celebrate the opening of pubs for their now infamous disco but only for adults over 35 we can reveal.

The news of the new ‘Adult Hilltown’ disco has been met with mass joy and hysteria by all those who remember going to it back in the 90’s. It is estimated to have taken the virginity of 85% of all attendees.

One Newry man told Newry Spud:

“This is the best thing to have happened to the area since the running water a lock of years ago. I’ve already got my bottles of Woodies and Hooch bought for the bus. I can’t wait to shift a few girls at the slow songs maybe feel the diddy too baah.”

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