Tue. Jan 19th, 2021

A heavily pregnant Newry woman is about to have her fanny made into a Wizard’s Sleeve when her 10 pound baby is expected to make an appearance tonight we can reveal.

The woman who weighs 7 stone when wet has no idea what is going to happen to her lady bits.

We spoke with the leading midwife in Daisy Hill hospital who told us:

“Poor girl. She literally has no fucking clue what is going to happen to her. As a first time mother also it’s going to be particularly rough on her. She will be left with an awful sore fanny one fears.”

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