Thu. Dec 3rd, 2020


Haldane Fisher AFC who are currently sitting 5th in the Carnbane First Division football league have been rocked with allegations of player fixing we can reveal.

Newry Spud went undercover and found that only the manager Colly Johnston actually works in Haldane Fisher the rest of the players are a mixture of Jobseeker Allowance victims and suspected criminals.

We put the allegations to Mr Johnston a part time male stripper and the manager of Haldane Fisher AFC and he told us:

“Yes, I admit I am the only employee of Haldane Fisher that has anything to do with the team but let’s not get carried away. Look at who is top of the league, Barcroft for fucks sake. A team of joyriders and borderline alcoholics.”

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