Fri. Jan 22nd, 2021

A Newry gym owner has been named as the new Lord Chief Justice the government has announced.

Declan Trainor the owner of ‘The GYM’ in the city has astounded and dumfounded law makers in equal measure with his grasp of the law after shooting a video on his phone confronting the PSNI.

Lord Chief Justice Trainor told us:

“I’ve had enough of this ludicrous lock down and the PSNI’s audacity to treat me differently to other businesses in Newry. I know the law. I absolutely know my rights.

Don’t get me wrong I never went to law school or university or anything but I used Google to gain some knowledge that let’s face it, isn’t really correct or lawful but fuck it.”

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