Grounded on Newry’s Merchant Quay Has Been Discovered To Be Hiding Life’s Greatest Secrets.


After years of visiting Grounded for lunch, Grainne Ni Hallion began noticing that the employees working there were always ridiculously happy.  Not just on this particular day, but every day. This prompted Grainne to reach out to friends and family asking them if they had similar experiences. With no luck, Grainne contacted the Newry PSNI.

Billy Smyth of the PSNI went undercover for two weeks.  He visited Grounded a total of five times. With every visit, Officer Smyth was able to gather more and more intelligence. With enough evidence, Smyth was able to acquire a search warrant and searched the business later this afternoon. What he found was remarkable.

Police records state that the officers upon searching Grounded, found a large entrance that leads to an underground bunker of some sort. A discovery that will change the history of mankind forever.

Police searched the underground bunker and state that they may have made the biggest discovery in human existence. One such secret found was that the Tooth Fairy is actually Chinese.

Police will not go into full detail due to the ongoing investigation but state that this is one of the biggest, greatest, most important discoveries ever.

We will report more once new information becomes available.