Sun. Jan 24th, 2021

The British & Irish governments have said this morning that they will call Francie Bellew in to warn coronavirus to ‘get to fuck from around the place’ we can confirm.

Bellew an Armagh and Crossmaglen GAA great is known for his calm demeanour but who is also known to be the only man to strike the fear of ba-Jaysus into Chuck Norris.

A joint statement from Dublin & London said:

“We are of course keeping a close eye on the situation and we really don’t want to bring Francie into the situation but we may be forced to unleash him if this gets worse before it gets better.”

Meanwhile it’s been confirmed Bellew has offered the coronavirus for a ‘fair dig’ in a hayshed in an undisclosed area of south Armagh.

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