Forkhill Gorse Arsonists Branded ‘Sad Wankers’ By Firemen


Firemen in Crossmaglen & Newry have branded the arsonists who set fire to the gorse in Slieve Bracken in Forkhill as ‘sad wankers’.

The fire service has been at full stretch trying to keep an eye on the wildfire all night and morning in the south Armagh hinterland.

Fireman Pete Burns told Newry Spud:

“So that’s their only contribution to life? Setting fire to some gorse? Well done lads, your ma and da are going to be so proud of you. Bunch of sad wankers.”

But a local arsonist was defiant, telling Newry Spud:

“It’s the government’s fault. They don’t provide me with anything to do up here. They don’t provide me with jobs to go to, not that I’d go if there were, and they don’t provide me with the stimulation that I need. Setting fire to gorse and fucking everyone off makes me feel like a real man.”

Pete Burns responded by saying:

“I’ll give the wanker some stimulation when I stick this fire-hose up his hole. If you want to prove how much of a man you are, why don’t you come here and put the fucking fires out?”