Sun. Jan 17th, 2021


Facebook has launched a new warning notification when users try to look up ex-partners’ profiles.

The new scheme is designed to save users from the anguish of seeing former partners happy without them.

A Facebook spokesman told Newry Spud:

“Facebook was designed specifically for users to see how old flames are doing. However, since most of them have moved on with their lives, and are perfectly happy without the user, it has led to a lot of heartache. Our new warning will remind users that their old flames are a lot better off without them.”

Claire McGinn from Bessbrook has been impressed with the new scheme. She said:

“Every weekend I get totally shit-faced on cheap wine and end up scouring Facebook to find out what my exes are up to. I usually regret it because whereas I’m hoping to find them pining for me, most of them have moved on, got themselves someone better and seem really happy. This new notification has stopped me looking up a few people and I feel a little bit better for not knowing how happy they are.”

One anonymous Facebook user added:

“I didn’t realise how much time I spent looking up former partners. I realise now that I’m just a nosey bastard.”

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