Durex Launch ‘Newry Flavoured Condoms’


The world famous condom producer Durex has launched a new Newry Flavoured packet to increase sexual health within the area.

The company have been working for a year on local flavours that may attract locals and decrease the high level of gonorrhoea and syphilis in the city.

The new flavours have been revealed and we must admit they look quite promising. Flavours include:

*Friar Tuck’s Coleslaw

*Nuggy Pot Ice-Cream

*Ken’s Curry

*Pat Price’s Fish Supper

*Timoney’s Ice-Cream

*Cobbles Strawberry Daiquiris

*La Dolce Pizza

We spoke with locals in Newry today and one man told us:

“Condoms with thon flavours? Fuck sake, I’d buy them myself and just eat them.”