Sat. Nov 28th, 2020

The DUP’s Jim Wells is set to lead Belfast’s Gay Pride parade today after a sensational U-Turn in his usual anti-gay sentiments we can reveal.

Mr Wells who can usually be found every morning between 9:00-10:30am talking utter shite on the BBC’s Nolan Show has had a ‘change of heart’ according to the Kilkeel based politician.

Mr Wells spoke to Newry Spud while getting his make-up done for the parade and he told us:

“I went to bed on Wednesday night and whilst I was fast asleep George Michael came to me in my dream. I’ve always loved George Michael’s music, in fact myself and former DUP man Paul Berry ran a secret George Michael appreciation Society within the party back in the good old days.

Anyway, George told me that I was acting like a total cunt and to wise up and embrace the normality of gay people in society. While I hate the sin but love the sinner I will be there front and centre to show my love for these poor people. I will also be in the Kremlin tonight for anyone looking to meet, only men though, big, hairy, men.”

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