Tue. Jan 19th, 2021

Disney has won planning permission to build ‘Disneyland Derrybeg’ the first in Ireland we can reveal.

The backward Ghetto area with nothing more than a local idiot, three dogs and a shop will host one of Europe’s largest entertainment destinations.

The news was met with much jubilation in the area although most never heard of Disney before.

A Disney’s spokesman spoke to Newry Spud saying:

“We looked everywhere for a large enough space and Derrybeg was perfect. We don’t have to worry about moving people out of their homes as most seem to dwell in shacks or social housing that is coming in around their ears. We hope to have the park up and running by next March.”

One Derrybeg resident who could just about manage to string a couple of coherent sentences together told us:

“This will be the biggest thing to hit Derrybeg since running water 4 years ago. It will be the first rides we’ve had in Derrybeg since long the many a day too, I can’t wait bah.”

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