Sun. Dec 6th, 2020

observe

The Warrenpoint Harbour Authority has revealed plans today to erect a ‘massive dildo’ as a lighthouse on the shores of Warrenpoint we can reveal.

Jimmy Rabbit a spokesman for the Harbour Authority told Newry Spud about the lavish new plan:




“We notice that most of the women around Warrenpiouint are dry oul bags so we thought we would design a massive dildo shaped lighthouse that we hope might give them a small bit of titillation and perhaps dampen them up a bit.”

But SDLP Councillor Michael Carr has hit out at the new plan:

“This is an outrage to decency. I know that we don’t have much in this small and weird backwater of a town but to slap a massive dildo on the shores is a bit of a disgrace. It is sure to ‘shake’ a few feathers and ‘dive deep’ into peoples anger.”



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